Have you ever just stopped and wanted to kick yourself for not doing what your inner self knew was right? Funny thing in retrospect, the times I followed a different road and didn't trust my own instincts, I fucked myself up.
I discovered early in life that my thoughts/beliefs were not those of my parents, siblings, friends, society, church, government and I questioned a lot of "beliefs" as a child and young person. This created too many instances to count of being called weird, defiant and rebellious. As I look back, almost every time I followed someone else's definition of what I "should" do, I was not happy, I was not in my truth and the hurts that followed were life altering, for good reason. I was trying to be what others wanted me to be. WHO DOES THAT? My guess is, most of us do or have done.
Now at 52, I'm still considered weird and defiant. Thankfully, that doesn't affect me as much. Loved ones don't understand my decisions and vocalize their dissatisfaction of them. I have learned throughout this life that I am not someone else's definition. I think of myself as a free spirit, full of love and that is my authentic self.
Truth is, I'm happier than I have ever been and I trust that is because I've listened to myself and not let anyone else talk me out of choosing my own happiness, first......finally!
